I'm standing in my kitchen.
My mother is bored. Not distressed. Not in crisis. Just bored. And I can feel it coming. That familiar dread in my chest. That tightening in my shoulders. Because I know what happens when she can't sit with that feeling. I give it five minutes. Within five minutes. She'll find something to criticize, or someone to provoke, or a crisis to manufacture.
And somehow, it'll all become my emergency. Sure enough, three minutes later, I hear it. That tone, that specific edge in her voice, that means she's about to make her internal discomfort everyone else's external problem. "Why is this here?" "Who did this?" "When I do that, I do it this way." "This needs to be dealt with right now."
And just like that, my quiet Saturday morning becomes a crisis management situation. Because she can't sit with the feeling of being under stimulated for five minutes.
I used to think it was just my mom or just my dad, cause he's kind of the same way. Just my family in general. I used to think it was just me being oversensitive to normal family dynamics. Then I started noticing it everywhere.
The coworker who got mild feedback on a report and turned it into a three -hour emotional crisis that six people across three floors had to manage. Then we have that friend who can't handle the, "I need space this weekend", without spiraling into "You're rejecting me." Or "You're abandoning me territory."
Then we have the acquaintance who posted something absolutely fucking insane online just to get people arguing in the comments. Any engagement, even negative, just something to avoid sitting with themselves quietly and reflecting.
And then I started wondering, what the fuck is going on? What's actually happening here?
This is Rage Against The Audacity.
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Here's what I couldn't figure out. Why do some people seem physically incapable of sitting quietly with themselves for even 30 seconds? And more importantly, Why does their inability to do that always become someone else's problem?
Because that's the pattern that I keep seeing around here. It wasn't just that they couldn't tolerate discomfort. It's that they would do anything to avoid feeling it, including making everyone else around them miserable. I guess "misery loves company" is a true statement.
So, I started paying attention. And when I say paying attention, I mean
Really paying attention to what happens in the moment before someone creates chaos. To what they're actually avoiding when they escalate. To the specific feeling they can't seem to sit with. And once I started looking for it, I couldn't stop seeing it.
For this week's Audacity Files, we're going to talk about some situations that I've noticed in relation to people not being able to live with their discomfort.
The Feedback Moment.
I'm watching a manager give a coworker some feedback. Nothing harsh. They just said something like, hey, this report had a few errors, let's review the process. this is normal feedback. The kind of feedback you get in any job.
You know, mild discomfort for sure, a little embarrassment, absolutely, but it's completely survivable. It's pretty normal. I watched that coworker's face as the manager said that, and I saw something shift, just went over very slowly. And it wasn't that, oh I messed up, let me fix it, type of a shift.
It was more like complete and utter panic. Like they'd just been told the building was on fire. Within 30 seconds, there is an explosion of tears and defensiveness. I work so hard on this. You don't appreciate me. This feels like an attack. I give you guys everything. And then suddenly, the manager is apologizing.
And then six people are magically involved. And we're having emergency lunch and learns about communication styles. All because one person couldn't sit with 30 seconds of, I made a mistake. And I need to improve. That uncomfortable feeling was so unbearable to them that they externalized it until everyone else was managing it for them.
Okay, so that's one data point. Could be a fluke. I don't know.
The Boundary Spiral.
This is a completely different situation. I'm watching someone in my friend group tell another friend, I need some space this weekend. Just going to stay home and recharge.
I think even I've done that before with this person. It's, it's a simple boundary. It's clear, not about the friend at all. Just introverts being introverts. We need to recharge without people. And sometimes, we can't be at everything. and I watched it happen again.
There was split second where the discomfort hit them, and then that feeling of you see it like, what? I'm not the priority. You guys don't want to do what I want to do. And instead of sitting with that feeling, and maybe having some empathy, knowing that, We've been out and about for quite a while among the people and some of us need to you know, kind of sit at home and knit Maybe have a cocktail watch some YouTube, pet the dogs do whatever.
This person makes it about them, right? So, Instead of sitting with that feeling, which would pass in a minute, if they would just have a little empathy, do a little self-reflection, it might pass right on by, but they externalize it.
You guys are antisocial. Why are you guys always pulling away from me? Why don't we get to do what I want to do? this is how it starts, isn't it? This is how friends break up. I guess I'm just not important to you guys. Complete guilt trip city. Catastrophizing. Making their discomfort about feeling unimportant, which wasn't true.
Wasn't about them. It was about an introvert needing to recharge, but they were making their feeling about feeling unimportant to the other people in the friend group. Everybody's responsibility to fix. Now the person who needed rest is spending their entire weekend reassuring someone instead of recharging.
And once your battery depletes, recharging takes time and it's very difficult. The boundary didn't protect them because the other person couldn't tolerate the discomfort for even a moment.
Okay, so now we're at two data points. I'm beginning to see a pattern emerging here.
Boredom Chaos.
Back to the kitchen and my mother.
I started tracking "What happens when she's under stimulated?" or "When the attention is not on her". She can't read, she can't watch something, she can't call a friend, can't sit with herself. That restless, empty feeling is unbearable.
So, she creates her own brand of stimulation. She pokes at you. and picks a fight, right? She'll find something that needs to be done and then she'll manufacture that into an emergency. She starts narrating everything that she does. Then she'll find something to criticize or she'll demand your attention, right?
The minute you make a sound in the house; she starts calling your name. The minute she sees you, she wants you to come and sit with her. And here's what I started to realize. It gets worse when I am peaceful or I'm attempting to recharge or take some time for myself. If I'm in my room reading, knitting, working, managing my own need for quiet in a healthy way, that makes her more uncomfortable.
So, she sabotages it. She interrupts. She creates chaos until I'm as dysregulated as she is. Because if she has to feel uncomfortable. unseen, abandoned, or feel miserable then everybody else does.
Three very different situations. Same pattern. Someone experiences a mild and comfortable feeling.
They can't sit with it, not even for a minute, so they externalize it and suddenly it becomes everyone else's emergency.
And then, I started thinking about where this pattern comes from, right?
Who wants to go for four? Raise your hand. I do. All right!
The Participation Trophy Realization.
This is my theory on where the inability to sit with discomfort can come from a situation like this.
And I think we've all seen a situation like this. So, by my house, there's a soccer club. It's, I think it's a county soccer club. And all the kids in the neighborhood play soccer at this club. They got baseball, golf, um, basketball. I don't think they have football though. Anyway, so I'm watching kids at one of the county parks at a sports event, and everyone gets a medal, and everyone's a winner.
And I'm watching this one kid, I don't know these kids, not in my neighborhood, they're holding their participation trophy. But they watched as the other team celebrate, and they kinda, you could tell they kinda felt the difference between winning and participating. You can see in their face that they know the truth, but the adults are saying, Hey, you guys did good. You played well, you guys did great and everybody's a winner today. So don't feel bad about it. Now the kid looks confused, right? They're holding a reward. They know deep in their heart that they did not win, and they never had time to sit with the healthy discomfort of, you know what? I lost this time.
It feels bad. But I'll work harder next time. We're going to beat them next time.
Instead, they learned that discomfort gets fixed immediately. Reality bends to protect you from feeling bad.
So now, let's fast forward 20 years. I can imagine seeing this kid working at some office and they're getting feedback on a report and they're having a complete meltdown because no one taught them that you can feel disappointed like you did something wrong and survive it.
And that whether you earned it or not, You deserve an award. They were trained to believe that discomfort equals emergency, that someone always fixes it for them so that they can feel better.
And now they're 35, can't take feedback, can't handle setbacks, and are convinced that the world is against them because reality keeps refusing to manage their discomfort for them.
That's when I realized what I was actually looking at. The pattern reveals itself. This isn't about individual people being difficult. This is about an entire culture that was trained to believe that discomfort is danger. We removed obstacles. Inflated grades, protected people from disappointment, and fixed every uncomfortable feeling immediately.
And we told ourselves we were being compassionate, protecting their self-esteem. What we really did was rob them of a chance to learn the most important skill they'd ever need. You can be uncomfortable and survive it.
So now you've got emotionally immature adults who treat every moment of discomfort as a personal attack by the universe. Every piece of feedback is an assault. Every boundary is an abandonment, every moment of boredom is an emergency. If they're not someone's focus of attention, then they feel rejected.
Every feeling of being wrong is an existential crisis.
And they've learned that if they just escalate enough, A K A throw a tantrum, get loud enough, make everyone else around them uncomfortable, someone will catch the feeling for them.
Once I saw this pattern, I started seeing it everywhere. The actress who couldn't handle being told no by a director, so she triangulated the entire cast and crew, made herself the victim. And eventually sued all because she couldn't sit with the discomfort of not getting creative control or being told that her marketing campaign was tone deaf. Y'all know who I'm talking about.
Next, we have
The person who couldn't tolerate their weekend plans falling through, so they created a crisis that required someone's immediate attention. Any crisis, just something to avoid sitting with disappointment. Next, we have the parents who couldn't tolerate watching their kid experience consequences, so they rewarded the tantrum.
Now the kid's 50. Throwing the same tantrum, still expecting someone else to absorb their discomfort. And it's not just emotional immaturity; it's a systematic inability to tolerate discomfort. And it becomes everyone else's job to manage.
Here's what changed for me when I figured this out. I had to stop thinking that I was the problem.
When I encountered people like this for years, I thought maybe I'm too harsh. Maybe I should communicate better. Maybe if I just managed my tone more carefully, explain more clearly, or accommodate more. But that was never it. I just was giving more energy to these people and enabling their behavior because the problem wasn't how I was communicating.
The problem was that I was the only person in the room who could sit with uncomfortable feelings. I can tolerate being wrong. They can't. I can sit with disappointment. They can't. I can handle ambiguity and boredom and criticism. They can't. And I'd become very good at catching their discomfort for them.
I was like a discomfort magnet. So good that I didn't even realize that was happening. But once I saw the pattern, I couldn't unsee it. And I started asking myself, what if I stopped catching it for them? Here's what I learned. When you stop being someone's emotional shock absorber, they escalate. AKA Tantrum.
They make you feel guilty. They tell you that you've changed, that you're cold, that you're selfish. But here's what you're actually doing. You're refusing to participate in a system that demands you sacrifice yourself so that they never have to grow.
Let me say that one more time for the people in the back.
You're refusing to participate in a system that demands that you sacrifice yourself. So, they never have to grow. And that's not selfish. That's self-preservation.
Now we've reached the section where we talk about the tools. This is what I've learned to do. Maybe it will help you. So, once I understood the pattern, I had to figure it out. Okay, how do I actually navigate this in real life? because understanding what's happening doesn't automatically protect you from it.
Right? I need actual techniques, things I could do when someone was trying to externalize their discomfort onto me or project their discomfort onto me. So, I'm going to share some tools, three tools here that have changed the game.
Tool One: The Feelings Return Policy.
So, tool one, I'm going to call it the Feelings Return Policy.
First thing I learned is just because someone tries to hand me their shit sandwich Doesn't mean I have to sign for it, think of it like a package delivery. Someone shows up at your door with a box that you didn't order. You can acknowledge the delivery person brought it. You can see it sitting there.
But you don't have to accept it. Here's what that looks like. So, this is, this has happened to me so many times. So, let's say my mother calls and she's upset because I can't come to dinner because I have plans. She starts escalating. I can't believe you're choosing your friends over the family.
I guess I'm just not that important to you.
Old me would have jumped right in with the, "Oh no, no, you are so important. Let me see if I can make some arrangements with my plans." New me, "I can see that you're disappointed."
That's it. Acknowledge their feeling, but don't absorb it for them. Don't take responsibility for it and don't rush to fix it. "I can see you're upset about this." "That sounds really uncomfortable for you." "I hear that this is bringing up a lot for you." And then, silence. No explaining, no defending, no managing the discomfort for her.
The first time I did this, I felt cold and I felt bad. I felt like I wasn't being compassionate or empathetic or sympathetic or all the thetics, right?
But here's what I realized. I wasn't being cruel. I wasn't abandoning her. I was just refusing to sign for a package that wasn't mine. Her disappointment about my plans, that's hers to sit with, not mine to fix. But you gotta watch out for the pitfalls, right? Don't over explain. That's still engaging with the content.
Still trying to make them feel better. Don't apologize when you haven't done anything wrong. "I'm sorry you're upset." Is still taking responsibility. So, stick with the, "I can see that you're upset" and don't try to make them feel better. That is absorbing. You're just acknowledging delivery and not signing for it.
Here's the litmus test. After you respond, ask yourself, did I sign for a package that isn't mine? if you're now managing their feelings, you accepted delivery.
Tool Two: The Compassionate Witness.
Here's tool number two. I call this one the Compassionate Witness. So, for this second tool, we're going to be learning to stay present with someone's discomfort without absorbing it.
All right. So, the first one, we didn't sign for the package. This one is for us where we are going to learn to stay present while they're having their discomfort meltdown tantrum or whatever it is. This one's harder because it requires you to watch someone be uncomfortable and not jump in to fix it.
And try to be really honest about it. When we jump in to fix things, we are also trying to manage our discomfort with their discomfort. See what I'm saying? All right,
Here's my internal mantra, "Their discomfort is not my emergency." I repeat that in my head when I can feel that pull, that familiar urge to rescue them from their own feelings, or to rescue myself from feeling guilty about their discomfort. Now what this looks like in externally. So, this is what they're going to be seeing.
You're going to stay calm. You're going to breathe. You're going to relax your shoulders. You're going to unclench your jaw. You're going to maintain a neutral but kind expression, and you're not going to rush and fill the silence. Don't offer any solutions unless they explicitly ask, and you're going to hold your boundary while they process.
So, here's a real example. My mom is bored, and I can feel it coming. We talked about this earlier. The familiar dread of her having nothing to do. But this time, I'm in my room, I'm working, and I just stay there. And I can hear her, in the house, asking, "Well, why is this here?" And "Who left the door open?" And "Who left this on the counter?"
I've got wine in the car, and I need you to come get it out for me right now." Now the old me would have jumped up and managed all that stuff and I would have absorbed her discomfort of not being the center of attention or being controlling of everything.
The new me, I take a breath, my internal mantra, and I say, her boredom is not my emergency. I stay in my room. I stay calm. And I tell myself; you're not abandoning her. You're just not absorbing her inability to feel that she's not the center of attention. And she might escalate, she might call me, and then she'll text right after, and then she'll call me again, and then she might yell my name.
To be more provocative, I still breathe, tell myself it's not my emergency. Remind myself that she's uncomfortable, and that's okay, and that she can sit without being in control of me. Eventually, she'll find something else to do.
Or she won't. Either way, I didn't make her internal state my external problem. This is as much as a body practice as a mental one. Because you have to train your nervous system to stay regulated while theirs dysregulates. Okay? Practice these four physical anchors. First is deep breathing. Through the nose, breathe four counts in, and then out the mouth, breathe six counts out. Relax your shoulders. Consciously unclench your jaw. And something I like to do is take off my shoes or socks, whatever I'm wearing, so I'm barefoot.
And I like to have my feet on the ground, in the house. So, you know, just standing barefoot. That helps a lot. Outside, it actually works, a lot better too. So, if you're feeling dysregulated, and you just happen to be outside, like when I'm walking my dog sometimes, I'll walk them into the center of the grass, and then I'll take my shoes off, and just kind of stand in the grass for a minute, with my shoes off, then I'll put my shoes back on, I'll do my walk, and then when I come back from my walk, I'll stand in the grass, with my shoes off again, before I come back into the house.
Your calm nervous system is going to be your anchor. Their storm doesn't have to become yours. Now, here are some pitfalls you might encounter while you're doing this. Don't confuse witnessing with coldness. You can be warm and still hold boundaries. Compassion doesn't require capitulation. Or as I talk about with one of my friends, she says, you don't have to give your chips out.
Your chips, Your potato chips, that's your energy. Don't break first. Sitting in someone else's discomfort feels awful when you're used to not fixing it. So, remember what I said earlier about a lot of times We absorb people's discomfort and we fix it so that we don't have to feel their discomfort.
Right? So, this is about us being able to sit with our discomfort of seeing them in discomfort. Right? So don't break first. Someone else's discomfort can feel awful to you, especially when you're used to fixing it or managing it. That moment that you want to cave, that's when you need to breathe and repeat, not my emergency.
Don't get pulled into their shenanigans. Don't get pulled into their discomfort. They'll say provocative things. They'll poke at you. They'll even provoke you to get you to engage. Stay neutral. Saying, "I hear you, I understand you." Is enough. you don't have to take it on.
You don't have to fix. Don't have to explain.
Tool Three: The Discomfort Detox.
Tool number three, We've got the Discomfort Detox. I like this one.
this third tool. And this one's crucial. It's learning to reset your nervous system after you've been around someone's discomfort intolerance.
Because even with good boundaries, You're still going to absorb some. You're only human, right? And you have empathy. Some absorption is inevitable. shit happens. So, you need to cleanse that out of your system. Think of it like showering after a workout.
You wouldn't go weeks without washing your ass, right? It's the same principle. After emotionally challenging interactions, you need to reset. Let me tell you what I do. immediately after an interaction, I shake my body. I might shake it for just about 30 seconds. Usually, I throw my headphones on and just dance, basically.
I move the energy through and out of my body. That helps me because sometimes, if I'm dealing with toxic people, It makes me, nervous and my hands shake. But that's just nervous energy. Put my headphones on, dance, push that energy out.
Another thing I like to do is cold water on my face or wrist. This works in the office. Go into the bathroom, splash cold water on your face, and put some cold water on the interior of your wrists. That helps to reset your vagus nerve. Another thing I like to do, my therapist taught me this, I've seen this all over the internet, it's called box breathing.
So, you're going to breathe four counts in through your nose, You're going to hold for 4 count, then you're going to breathe out through your mouth to a 4 count, and then you're going to hold 4 count before you breathe in again through your nose. Repeat that 5 times. And say out loud, or in your mind, that was their discomfort, not mine.
And I'm giving it back.
An extended detox thing that I've done before is walk. We talked about how, putting your feet in the grass, that helps.
But movement plus fresh air and nature, the birds chirping, the sun on your skin, that helps to reset your nervous system as well. Another thing I like to do is take a shower. And I like to visualize that discomfort or that negative energy washing off me and going down the drain. And you can do a body scan meditation.
This one's good for the car. let's say someone pisses you off in the office and you go out to sit in your car. I've done this a lot where I'll just go and get in my car and I'll sit in the parking lot, and I will scan my body. Head to my toes and I'll call out like my head.
Where am I holding tension? Am I holding tension in my head? No. Am I holding tension in my jaw? Yes. And then I will consciously release it, and I will go through my shoulders. I will go through my spine. I'll go through everything and visually picture myself consciously releasing the stress.
Another thing you can do. is journal. I keep a small field note sized journal or a passport sized journal in my sling bag, in my car, next to my bed, at my desk and I will journal. Some prompts you can do are what just happened and you can write about it. You can ask yourself questions like was this something I was feeling or was it something I absorbed from them?
Was it mine or was it theirs? You might journal about what do you need right now. another thing you can do is I keep a trigger log in a journal, like a larger journal, where I note the date, the situation, I note how it impacted me physically and emotionally, what feelings I have, whether it Impacted my tension.
Did I get sweaty? Did my shoulders get hot? And I ask myself, what did I learn from that situation? And usually just writing it out really helps.
Deep Cleanse. Now this is something that you can do. This is an ongoing thing. It's kind of like prophylactic, as they say. it's therapy.
Therapy helps you to self- reflect and be self-aware about what from your past or what experiences you've had may be driving your need to absorb things from people that are not yours.
Another thing you can do from a deep cleanse perspective is Boundary Strengthening. Each detox session will teach me something where I need firmer boundaries. So, as I am reflecting on things that have occurred and dealing with toxic people, I'm always trying to look at what can I do better for me? What boundaries do I need to set?
How do I need to hold my boundaries better? Nervous system regulation practices. building my capacity to stay regulated around dysregulation. This was kind of hard. So, a real example would be that, you know, let's say I just got off the phone with my mom, and she spiraled because I couldn't visit. And I held my boundary with her, but I can feel her anxiety living in my chest.
Like, and I can feel guilt tripping and all that. My shoulders get really, really hot. And they get so tight that they feel like they're up by my ears. I feel guilty even though I didn't do anything wrong. So, I hang up the phone, I stand up, I shake my body for 30 seconds. I might put my AirPods in and do a little wiggle, wiggle, wiggle to something.
And I say out loud, that was her discomfort about not being able to control me or my schedule. It's not mine and I'm not giving it back.
After that call, I might do some box breathing, five rounds. if I can, I'll take a 30-minute walk with my dogs and do the body scan meditation while I'm walking. I'll, I love to stand in the grass with my shoes off. And I can try to visualize areas where I have tension and that I am leaving that tension and letting that tension go when I exhale.
And usually, after I finish my detox, I can finally think clear again. Her anxiety is no longer living in my body anymore, and I am no longer tense in my shoulders. Now, some common pitfalls. Sometimes we say, oh, I don't need to do any of this. I'll be fine. I don't need to detox. No big deal. What you're not realizing is you absorb their discomfort. And that discomfort, that energy from that needs to be released. This isn't a weakness.
This is basically self-care. This is hygiene. You're actually cleansing your energy.
Don't numb instead of process. We all do this sometimes. We grab our phone, we start scrolling, or we play a game. We might have a cocktail or two. We might just zone out, disassociate. Those may suppress the absorption, but it's not going to release it. It will still be there, and it is slowly building, and you need to actively process so that you aren't easily triggered by absorbing people's discomfort.
Don't beat yourself up for absorbing. You're human. The goal isn't perfect boundaries. It's consistent detoxing of the negative energy that you are absorbing from people's discomfort.
So, those are the three tools. The Feelings Return Policy. Don't accept delivery of their discomfort. Compassionate Witness.
Stay present without absorbing. Anchored by not my emergency. Comfort Detox, reset your system from whatever you did to absorb. Now, before and during interactions, use the first two. The Feelings Return Policy and the Compassionate Witness. After interactions, use Comfort Detox.
Comfort Detox can be done anytime. You can always visualize, when you're in the shower, washing negative energy down the drain. Some of these things you can just do out of practice, as a part of your daily practice or as your daily meditation.
And pick from the list of things you can do just to do them on a routine basis. Now, these aren't perfect. You'll still mess up. You'll still absorb sometimes. You can still cave to the pressure occasionally.
But over time, You get better at recognizing the pattern, better at holding your ground, better at protecting your own nervous system.
Here's your permission. if you've been recognizing yourself in this story, here's what I need you to hear. You're not imagining this. You're not too sensitive. You're not the problem. You've been managing the emotional regulation of people who never learn to do it for themselves and that was never your job.
You learned to sit with discomfort because you had to. It was trial by fire. You didn't have someone catching your feelings for you, you learned that disappointment passes that being wrong is survivable. that boredom is just boredom, that you can feel uncomfortable and come out the other side. You thought everyone had this skill, but they did it.
Some people learned they could use you, That if they just escalate enough, you'll catch their discomfort for them.
And you did because you're good at it. But you're tired now. You are burned out.
So, here's your permission. You're allowed to let them be uncomfortable.
You're allowed to set a boundary and let them feel some kind of way about it. You're allowed to give feedback and let them sit with being wrong. You're allowed to say no and let them experience disappointment. You're allowed to exist peacefully and let them manage their own boredom.
Their discomfort. is not your emergency. I know this feels radical, right? I know you've been trained your whole life that their discomfort is your emergency, but you don't have to keep doing this.
You can understand why someone never learned these skills. Maybe no one modeled it for them. Maybe the system rewarded them for not having it. All that can still be true and you can still protect yourself from being their shock absorber.
Understanding doesn't create an obligation to sacrifice yourself forever. And here's the thing about letting them be uncomfortable. Their discomfort might be the only thing that finally teaches them that they can survive it. Every time you catch it for them, you're teaching them that they never have to learn.
But when do you stop? When do you let them sit with it? That's when real growth becomes possible. Not guaranteed, but possible. And honestly, that might be the most loving thing you can do. For them and for you.
I started this episode in my kitchen, watching my mom unable to sit with boredom. And I thought it was just her. Just my family.
Just my weird, specific situation. But it's not. It's everywhere. Emotional immaturity, rage baiting, tone policing, manipulation, extinction bursts. all of it traces back to one thing. People who can't sit with uncomfortable feelings and who've made it everyone else's problem. But here's what I figured out.
You can't heal someone's inability to tolerate discomfort by absorbing their discomfort. You can only enable it. So, when you stop catching their feelings, when you let them sit with being uncomfortable, you're not abandoning them. You're not being cruel. You're refusing to participate in a system that keeps them stunted and keeps you depleted.
This is Rage Against the Audacity.
Your capacity to tolerate discomfort is strength, not a resource for them to exploit. To help others find us as we build our community, be sure you are subscribed. Hit that like button and drop a comment to give feedback and let me know if you have experiences you'd like covered in future episodes.
Until then, remember, their discomfort is not your emergency. See you next time.